Please do what I cannot...

My mind was racing and I was having trouble sleeping, so I laid in bed praying for our baby.
"God, I cannot hold her or protect her - so please do what I cannot!"

When my other two are sick or scared and wake up in the night, I rush to their room and scoop them up and hold them tight. I whisper one of our three secrets in their ear:
-"you're my best buddy,"
-"you're beautiful,"
-or simply "I love you!"

As I was laying there praying, I realized my prayer is the same for all my girls.
"God, I will do what I can, please do what I cannot!"
They'll have broken hearts and broken bones that only God can fix. 
There's so much that I cannot do, but I thank God that He can.

I know there will come a time when our little girl is home. I will hold her, protect her, and tell her our secrets. But, my prayer for her will be the same, "God, please do what I cannot."
I know there will come a time when all my girls are grown. I'm pretty sure my prayer won't change, but I can always be their buddy, reminding them they're loved and beautiful - and our God can do what we cannot.

God, I thank you that you're good, and you've trusted me with these girls. Help me to do the best that I can, and to remember you can do the rest.  Right now, when I can do so little for our baby, I find so much comfort in knowing that you can do what I cannot. Hold her. Protect her. Tell her that she's loved!

You Are LID

That was the best title of an email in my inbox that I have ever seen! 

Here is what the message said, from our social worker at Lifeline:

I have some great news!  You are officially logged in as of 10/8/2012.  Therefore, you are now eligible for matching.  Your family is on my radar for a matching; however, keep in mind that the average wait time for a young girl with minor needs is 3-4 months from LID.  I will be sure to update you as we get any information on timelines and files. Congratulations!

Yes!! We are so excited and thankful this day is here!! Being logged in, or having your Log In Date, means that China has received your dossier, and you are officially in their system, eligible to receive a referral! 

When I read this email at 10:00 this morning, I immediately called Randy, he stepped out of a meeting, and I was able to tell him. I did a little dance for awhile, told the girls why I was acting so giddy, and then thought about what this means. And of course, cried. (Because I cry more now that we are adopting than I ever have before!)

It totally hit me how when we began this process almost 8 months ago, we had no idea if we would even be eligible to adopt from China. They have some pretty tough requirements. Age, financials, other children in the home. We didn't know if they would accept us, but we began the journey with the faith that if China wasn't where God had our next baby that He would lead us to where she was. 

Fast forward to now and we are IN! We have our log in date, and now all we do is wait for a match. God is so good and we are so thankful that He is allowing us this privilege of adopting a baby girl from China. It is only by his grace and we are overwhelmed with thanksgiving. 

Psalm 121:1-2 says "I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

I have been praying this verse since before we started this process in February. So much about adopting from China seemed out of our reach and beyond what we could do. We have cried out to God for help and He has shown himself faithful. We are so thankful! He is a big God!!