Answered Prayers

God has been so faithful to us on this journey to our sweet Calli Fei Fei. We have been blown away by how we have seen him answer our prayers. Our faith has grown, we have learned about praying big, bold prayers, and we have fallen more in love with our Heavenly Father who delights in giving good gifts to his children.

I posted back in June about the specific things we have felt led to pray for related to Calli's adoption. I wanted to make sure I documented how God has answered those prayers here in her blog. We are so thankful to look back and see how God has answered each of those God-sized prayers!

1. The first thing I said we were praying is that we would be able to complete the adoption debt-free. DONE! Through a combination of our savings, ways we have earned extra money, selling puzzle pieces, the incredible generosity of our friends and family, and grants we applied for, we have a total of $30,500 for an adoption that is estimated to cost between $27-30,000! We received 5 grants, for a total of $15,500! That is unbelievable! We have finished our puzzle (pictures to come soon) and I can't wait to write about that in a post all to itself. So we should have everything we need for these last few steps and then for travel as well. Praise God! And, any funds we have remaining we are able to use for her medical care when she comes home. Calli will require several surgeries over many years, so we will be able to use any extra to help with the costs of those surgeries. We are so thankful and humbled!

2. We prayed that we would receive a referral by Christmas. DONE! We were matched from the shared list that was released on November 26. What a wonderful Christmas present for our family! We also were praying very specifically that our baby would be at least a year younger than Cooper, who was born on August 31, 2010. Calli's given birthday is August 31, 2011. That is just incredible to us!! She was found on November 7, 2011, and estimated to be 2 months old. We are not sure on the details of why she was given that birthday, but that was a very clear answer to us from God that she is our baby!

3. We have been praying for her attachment and bonding with us. We obviously won't know much about this until we are with her, but part of that prayer has already been answered. We asked God that she would be attaching to her care-givers or nannies, so that she would understand in time how to transfer that attachment to us. So many babies that are living in institutions are by themselves so much that they really don't know how to receive love: how to be cuddled, how to be fed by someone else, how to be rocked and held. We knew that even if it meant the separation would be hard, that we wanted our baby to be learning how to attach before we got her. That prayer has been answered even more than we expected! Calli is in a foster home with a foster mom and dad and we learned last week from our update that she is very loved by them and even sleeps in their bed with them! We are so thankful for the way they are caring for her. This makes me sad for her for when we go to get her - she knows them as a mother and father and I can't imagine the grief she will have while at the same time we have so much joy in receiving her as our daughter. We are praying very much for that transition time, that God will prepare her little heart for that and that as much as she can, she will be ready for that time. We are hoping the pictures we sent of us will help a little with that. Will you join us in praying for that as well?

4.  And we are still praying for the fourth thing, for when we bring Calli home. For our adjustment to being a family of five, for Kendall and Cooper, for energy and wisdom in how to best parent all three of them. Now we know we are also praying for issues related to her cleft lip and palate. We would love to have your prayers for that time as well!

Those are the big things! There have also been so many other answers to prayers we have prayed along the way. One of those was when we learned that we would be able to make the decision regarding whether or not she had her first surgery in China. We have been talking with Michelle's mom, Connie, who works for a plastic surgeon in Ft. Worth. He specializes in cleft lip and palate and saw Calli's pictures the first day we got her referral. We asked him his opinion about what to do about the surgery and his first response was that really both options were right. It would be fine to wait (wouldn't affect development any more) or it would be fine to let them do it and then repair when she got here. So that was fine, but we really needed some clear direction about what to do. Randy prayed about it with our friend Kirk the next morning at the office, and then I got a call from Connie and she said, "Is it too late? Have you already told them your decision?" I told her no, that we still hadn't decided or told our agency anything. She said that Dr. Schuster had gone home that evening and thought about it some more, then talked to some of his colleagues during surgery that morning and all of them agreed that it would be best to wait until she was here to do the surgery. Her gap is pretty wide, and there is risk of losing some of the lip that is there already. That was all we needed to hear! I called Randy and he told me about he and Kirk praying about it that morning. We were thankful to have that information from the doctor and were able to tell our agency our answer quickly! Also, we just got that update last week and the doctor saw her pictures and said again that we made the right decision in choosing to wait. Awesome!

"I lift my eyes up to the hills - where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

God, thank you for answering our prayers the ways you have. I believed that you were ABLE to do those big things we were asking, but I am so humbled that you CHOSE to do them. Thank you. May we be faithful with the sweet gift you are giving us in Calli Faith and honor you in the way we live our lives as a family. We desire more glory for you and more honor for your name. Teach us to have a big faith that trusts in you for big things!!

"Three cute flowers for your three cute girls!" From my sweet friend Chantel, the day after we received Calli's referral.

"Sorry ooosh in China, baby!"

We got our first update on Calli Faith last week! We are able to request updates through our agency at three points during the process, one being at referral, one at LOA, and one right before travel. Since we are in between referral and LOA, we decided to get an update another way, which is to send a care package through a service called Red Thread China. The lady who runs this site is named Ann and she is in China. You can order care packages through her, she puts them together there in China, and then she requests answers to questions and pictures when she sends the care package. I decided to do this without Randy knowing, in hopes that we might have an update by Christmas. Of course I couldn't wait when we did get the pictures and I showed him right away! He was so surprised and we were both so excited.
I chose a package called the "girl pajama package." It included pjs, a doll, a blanket, candies, and a flash drive for her caretakers to put pictures on of her. I also added an album of pictures that I emailed to Ann so that Calli can begin to see who we are. I was able to ask some questions and write a letter to Calli and to her caretakers. Here are the pictures of her care package! I was so pleased with the things Ann sent!

 

It was great to be able to get some answers to questions we had. Here are their responses:

1.Li Xiao Fei is called as Fei Fei.The orphanage has passed her new name Calli to her foster family .

2.Height :78cm weight :12kg Head:45cm Chest:47cm Foot:12.5cm teeth:6

3.She lives with foster family.

4.She sleep with her foster dad and mom in adult bed.

5.No ,her ears are fine.

6.She can not speak yet but she can make some noise now .

7.Her foster  family feed her with spoon.

8.She is too young to know what is adoption.

Love that we know she is called "Fei Fei!" We learned that is pronounced like "pay," so it sounds a lot like her middle name, Faith. We've been calling her Calli Fei Fei. :) 

Also, she is a big girl! Those sizes mean she is wearing 24 month clothes and size 5 shoe! And she just turned 15 months! 

We are very thankful that she is living with a foster family. Even though we know this will make separation harder on her, we are thankful to know she knows how to attach and bond and that she will eventually be able to transfer that attachment to us. Such an answer to prayer! 

And finally, here are her latest pictures! These were actually taken last week, so she is 15 months old here. Such a big girl! Still in love with those big brown eyes!

We sent these to the specialist we have been talking to and heard back from him today. He said that he still believes her palate is involved, even though her teeth are facing forward and there is such a small gap in between. He said he is glad we made the decision to have the repair done here. It is an incomplete cleft which does not go up into her nose, so that is good, but the area below her nose is pretty wide. We are confident that we made the right choice in deciding to wait to have her surgery and are thankful for helpful doctors as we navigate these decisions!
Calli's sisters could not be more excited about her and can't wait for her to be here! Kendall is ready to dress her in lots of girly clothes with big bows and lots of pink and ruffles. Cooper asks to see my phone and scrolls to Calli's picture at least once every day. She loves baby Calli. She talks to her and shows her picture off to anyone she sees. It is so precious to watch her becoming a big sister. We have a 5x7 picture of Calli framed on our kitchen cabinet. The other day Cooper was running around the house playing and she stopped in front of the picture, looked at it and said, "Hi Baby Calli! Sorry ooosh (you're) in China baby!" She talks about mommy and daddy getting on the "hairpane way up there" and asks us to go every day. All of it just melts my heart and I long for the day when Calli knows the love of these two sweet sisters!!

 

Calli Faith

We received our Pre-Approval from China this morning! It came so fast-we submitted our Letter of Intent on Wednesday, November 28 and got our PA on Tuesday, December 4th!

So we are finally able to introduce you to...

Calli Faith!

Calli's Chinese name is Li Xiao Fei.  We had decided on the name Callie already, but chose to drop the e when we saw that part of her name is Li.  One of the first questions we want to ask is what she is used to being called, and if they can start calling her Calli or not.

One of the very cool parts about getting Calli's file was hearing her birth date. We have been praying very specifically for a baby that is at least one year younger than Cooper. Cooper's birthday is August 31, 2010.  When Logan called to say she had a referral for us, she said that the baby's birthday was August 31, 2011.  Exactly one year to the day after Cooper's! Pretty awesome answer to prayer.

So, Calli is now 15 months old.  She has been at the orphanage since she was 2 months old (approximately) and we think that she may currently be in a foster home. We are trying to get some of that information soon.

Calli's special need is that she has congenital cleft lip and palate.  We have the option of having her first surgery done soon in China or of waiting until she is home with us.  She will have to have several corrective surgeries as she grows, and we will begin seeing specialists about this when she is home. We have actually already been in contact with a cleft lip and palate specialist regarding what we want to do about this first surgery.

Her file was just full of the sweetest details about her.  As it is all we have right now, we love reading it over and over and just stare at the four pictures we have of her. We loved hearing that her favorite thing is to be cuddled, that she likes to be warm (like her mama), that she is active and extroverted, she has a "ready smile," likes colorful rag dolls, has a good appetite, is not picky about food, and that she is a sound sleeper.

The last paragraph of her file is a section titled "Our Wishes." This is such a sweet note from whomever her caregivers are right now. They say that Calli is a quiet and lovely child. Their hope is that she will be adopted by a family who will give her a good education and will help her grow happily and healthily. They ask to be informed of her growth through notes and pictures, and they invite her to come back at anytime to the Child Welfare Institute "where she used to be raised."

Isn't that amazing?! It is obvious to us that Calli is very well-loved right now, which is something that we have been praying a lot! Her caregivers love her enough that they have wishes and hopes for her specifically, and they want to see pictures of her as she grows. We are so thankful for the people who are loving and caring for our daughter right now.

We told the girls about Calli and showed them her picture the day we accepted her referral. They are just so excited about her and can't wait to go get her! They aren't too happy about the fact that Randy and I are not taking them with us, but when we tell them they will be with their grandparents, that makes everything better. I have overheard Kendall telling her friends about Calli and that she has a boo-boo on her lip but it's ok, the doctors are going to fix it and she won't even feel it because she will be asleep. :) The first thing Cooper said when we showed her Calli's picture was "Her has no pants?" The picture is just of her face. :) Then she said, "Her has a boo-boo on her mouth?" Randy explained that she did and that when we bring her home the doctors will fix it. They pray for Calli all the time and love to talk about how when she is going to bed, we are getting up and when we are going to bed, Kendall prays that Calli would "have a great day today." We just love their sweet hearts for their new sister.

So one of the things PA means is that we are allowed to send care packages to Calli! And along with the care packages, we can send a list of questions and request updated pictures. We are looking forward to doing this very soon!! 

The Big Call!

One week ago today we received the call we've been waiting for since we started this process back in February: we got our referral! This past week has been a busy one and I have been so excited to sit down and blog and write out the whole story but there just hasn't been time. So here it finally is! We want to remember every crazy detail of this crazy process, so this may be a little long. But it's all important to us and we don't want to forget any of it!

I haven't blogged about this next part of the story yet either so I am going to include it here. As I was telling my friend Amy about this, she said, "I just can't wait to see what part all of this plays in you finally getting the referral for the baby girl who will be yours." At the time it was hard but as we have looked back on it, we have been able to tell God we are thankful for walking through it and for how he showed himself to us during that time.

On Monday, Nov 5 I got a call from our social worker, Logan. I was so surprised to hear that she was calling because she had locked a file for us and had a referral for us! I called Randy, he came home, and we opened the file of a precious 9 month old baby girl. We both were pretty emotional and thought that we might be finding out who our baby was that day! Her special need was a skin condition that we didn't know anything about so we immediately called Dr. B's office and he said he would meet with us during his lunch hour! When we met with him he told us about this particular skin condition and about the possibilities of what it could mean. We pretty much knew then that she was not our baby. It looked like she had the more mild form of the disease, but the more severe form was just more than we were ready for and we were able to determine that had this particular special need been listed on the child desired form, we would have said no to it. It was a hard, emotional day. We prayed individually and together and by the end of the day had decided we were going to call the following day and turn down the file. (I think I forgot to say that we had 48 hours to make our decision.). Tuesday morning I woke up feeling confident and peaceful about our decision. I told Randy that night that even though I was peaceful, I was still hurting. I wasn't sure how those two things could go together, but I knew we had done the right thing. I had read blogs of people who turned down their first referrals and knew that what we were feeling was normal, but it just didn't make it any easier! I prayed that week even more that we would see our baby girls' face soon and that when we did, that we would know she was ours. I just didn't realize that day would come so soon!!

Fast forward to this past week. The shared list was being released in China on Monday night, 8 or 9 pm our time. I knew many adoptive parents were anxiously waiting for that list to see if they would be matched, but I was just trying not to get my hopes up. The list has been small the past few months, and we have only been logged in since October 8th. This was only our second shared list to even be eligible for. I knew there were lots more people who have been logged in longer than us. We were fully expecting to be matched through our agency's partnership orphanages, so we really weren't expecting a call.

Randy and I were sitting in bed watching New Girl from the week before when my phone rang at 10:00! I didn't know the number, but it said it was from Mississippi. Our agency is in Birmingham, Alabama.  I answered and it was Logan! We immediately knew we had gotten a match that night! Logan told us that yes, we had been matched and that she had a file for us to view. She told us some specifics, and then asked if we wanted to see her file. Holy moly! We asked Logan if we could talk about it and call her back. This time, we were a lot slower to say yes to getting the email. There were a couple of parts of her diagnosis that we were unsure of and wanted to talk through. But, one thing that was very cool was her birthday. We have been praying very specifically that we would be matched with a baby that is at least one year younger than Cooper. When she told us her birthday, it was exactly one year to the day after Cooper's. They are exactly one year apart. Coincidence?? No way!

About thirty minutes later, almost 11pm our time, we called Logan and told her we would see the file. She told us again that we would have 48 hours to make a decision, so we needed to have paperwork turned in by Wednesday evening. We hung up and then just waited for the email to come through.

Can I just stop here and say how crazy unnatural this whole process is?! When you have a child biologically, the doctor holds them up and says "here is your baby!" But this is so crazy different! Here we were waiting for an email to come through that was potentially information and pictures of our baby! So weird.

So the email did finally come through and we saw her face. And we pretty much immediately knew she was ours. We were for her. She was precious. I am not allowed to give any details about her or her special need until we receive our Pre-approval, hopefully in about a week. I just can't wait to show off her picture and write all about her. Randy and I both just cried and cried, realizing that we were looking at pictures of our third daughter. We read every detail of her file, and stared and stared at her pictures. Then we tried to go to sleep. I think I finally fell asleep after 2am.

Tuesday morning we called Dr. B again and he said he would meet with us during lunch again. We emailed him her file so he could be reviewing it. When we met with him, he said, "Guys, she is just beautiful.  I don't see anything that would make me say you shouldn't move forward!" Oh that was all I needed to hear.  We talked about her specific conditions and learned a little more, but I can't even tell you how different I felt walking out of his office this time as opposed to the first time at the beginning of the month. And he said he was much happier this time to be able to give us this news instead of the other. He is so wonderful and we have been so thankful for him all along the way.

So then we called Logan that afternoon to say that she was ours! We started working on the Letter of Intent packet that night, writing a care plan for how we will care for her.  We had it submitted by Wednesday morning and Logan emailed us that afternoon to tell us we had officially submitted our Letter of Intent! So much happiness.

One thing Logan told me when I talked to her, after I told her we were accepting her file, was that the Lifeline representative in China had spoken with our baby's orphanage and told them a family was reviewing her file. She said that they told her that this baby is "highly recommended!" We thought that was so funny and Logan said she doesn't hear things like that very often! Ha!

So the question we've been asked most often this week has been, "So what's next? When do you go get her?" The process from here is that we wait for Pre-Approval, which could take about 2 weeks. Then we wait for China's official Letter of Approval, which takes anywhere from 2-3 months. After that, there are still a few steps before we can travel. Our agency estimates that it will be 5-6 months from now, but we are really hoping to travel sometime in April.  We'll see!

We are so thankful for how God has shown himself to us throughout this whole process and a big way He has done that has been through our family and friends loving and supporting us.  We can't wait to introduce you to our Calli Faith!

Thankful!

Last week was a big week for us financially. We received two different grants towards our adoption!
We've applied for 8 grants so far, and each one has been a bunch of work. We knew, though, that if even one grant came through that it would be totally worth it!

On Monday, Randy got the mail and we had a letter from Show Hope. This is their website - Show Hope was started by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth. They do lots of adoption ministry and part of their ministry is giving grants to families who are adopting. We completed their application process back in August and were told to expect to hear back from them sometime in December as to whether or not we were being awarded a grant. The letter we got from them last week said that after reviewing all the applications submitted, we were being given $4,000 for our adoption!! We were absolutely blown away and so thankful. I know a lot of people apply for their grants, and I don't know why we were chosen but we are humbled and thankful.

Then, I woke up on Friday morning with an email from an organization called Katelyn's Fund. This is another adoption ministry that prays for families who are adopting and has grants to give to families who adopt. We applied for their grant a couple of months ago, but then the week before last we had a phone interview with them. This was one of the coolest experiences we have had so far during this process. The board of directors for Katelyn's Fund called us on speaker phone at 9:00 on a Monday night. They asked us some questions, like how we started on the journey to adopt, where we are in the process, how our faith has grown in the process, what songs or verses have been special to us along the way, what our hopes are for our girls, and then what some prayer requests are that we have. We had a great conversation and then they asked if they could pray for us! All four of their board members went around and prayed over us and it was just such a blessing - we could tell that they really cared about adoption and really understood the prayer needs we had. We got off the phone with them very thankful and felt very blessed to even have had that experience. Fast forward to this past Friday, and we got an email saying they were awarding us $3,000!! Whoa! Again, we felt very humbled and in awe that we were getting to experience God's provision in this way. $7,000 in one week - and we did nothing to earn it. Straight from God.

So now we are even closer to our final total! Our agency estimates that final costs will be anywhere from $27,000-$30,000. The reason this is such a big range is because of estimates of travel costs. We have $22,000 now! We are so thankful to be this close and are excited to see how God provides the remaining amount.

Please do what I cannot...

My mind was racing and I was having trouble sleeping, so I laid in bed praying for our baby.
"God, I cannot hold her or protect her - so please do what I cannot!"

When my other two are sick or scared and wake up in the night, I rush to their room and scoop them up and hold them tight. I whisper one of our three secrets in their ear:
-"you're my best buddy,"
-"you're beautiful,"
-or simply "I love you!"

As I was laying there praying, I realized my prayer is the same for all my girls.
"God, I will do what I can, please do what I cannot!"
They'll have broken hearts and broken bones that only God can fix. 
There's so much that I cannot do, but I thank God that He can.

I know there will come a time when our little girl is home. I will hold her, protect her, and tell her our secrets. But, my prayer for her will be the same, "God, please do what I cannot."
I know there will come a time when all my girls are grown. I'm pretty sure my prayer won't change, but I can always be their buddy, reminding them they're loved and beautiful - and our God can do what we cannot.

God, I thank you that you're good, and you've trusted me with these girls. Help me to do the best that I can, and to remember you can do the rest.  Right now, when I can do so little for our baby, I find so much comfort in knowing that you can do what I cannot. Hold her. Protect her. Tell her that she's loved!

You Are LID

That was the best title of an email in my inbox that I have ever seen! 

Here is what the message said, from our social worker at Lifeline:

I have some great news!  You are officially logged in as of 10/8/2012.  Therefore, you are now eligible for matching.  Your family is on my radar for a matching; however, keep in mind that the average wait time for a young girl with minor needs is 3-4 months from LID.  I will be sure to update you as we get any information on timelines and files. Congratulations!

Yes!! We are so excited and thankful this day is here!! Being logged in, or having your Log In Date, means that China has received your dossier, and you are officially in their system, eligible to receive a referral! 

When I read this email at 10:00 this morning, I immediately called Randy, he stepped out of a meeting, and I was able to tell him. I did a little dance for awhile, told the girls why I was acting so giddy, and then thought about what this means. And of course, cried. (Because I cry more now that we are adopting than I ever have before!)

It totally hit me how when we began this process almost 8 months ago, we had no idea if we would even be eligible to adopt from China. They have some pretty tough requirements. Age, financials, other children in the home. We didn't know if they would accept us, but we began the journey with the faith that if China wasn't where God had our next baby that He would lead us to where she was. 

Fast forward to now and we are IN! We have our log in date, and now all we do is wait for a match. God is so good and we are so thankful that He is allowing us this privilege of adopting a baby girl from China. It is only by his grace and we are overwhelmed with thanksgiving. 

Psalm 121:1-2 says "I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

I have been praying this verse since before we started this process in February. So much about adopting from China seemed out of our reach and beyond what we could do. We have cried out to God for help and He has shown himself faithful. We are so thankful! He is a big God!!

Dossier To China!!!

Today was a big day - the biggest yet on this whole journey. Our dossier is officially on it's way to CHINA!!! All the work we've been doing the past 7 months has been in order to get this dossier together. We have been waiting for months for the day when our agency could send it off to China. And today was that day!!!

"What is a dossier? It is our entire lives in an envelope. Seriously, everything is in that envelope: birth certificates, marriage license, employment letters, criminal checks, background checks, passport photos, 6 photos of our family, financial statements, medical exams, and our I800A form. Also included is our home study…a typed document consisting of 4 interviews/visits with a social worker, life history, family histories, financial histories, interviews with our kids, parenting styles, beliefs, and just about everything else remotely related to us as individuals and as a family." (From a blog I love)

We were excited. 

Kendall was sitting next to me when I checked my email and saw that it had been sent. I squealed and told her that all the paper work we've been working on, all the letters asking China to let us adopt one of their little girls are all finally heading to China. She seemed to totally get it and was very excited too, which I loved! It was fun to celebrate being one step closer to my third daughter with my first daughter. 

Baby girl, we are coming as fast as we can and we are celebrating every milestone along the way! We are longing to see your face and know your name. Soon!! 

Now we wait for our log-in date. This should take 3-4 weeks. THEN we will officially be able to receive a referral for our baby! It could still be a few months until we know who she is, but we are one step closer today! 

Approved!

We received our I800a approval from immigration last Monday, August 27th! The approval was actually dated on my birthday, August 24 - we just got it in the mail on the 27th. We were so excited that that part of the process was behind us! We scanned our approval and emailed it to our agency and they began the process of authenticating and certifying our whole dossier. This takes around 2 weeks, so we expect to be sending our dossier to China very very soon!!

We passed a pretty big milestone a little over a week ago: my 30th birthday! We are now officially able to adopt a child from China, according to their rules on age. Randy got me the most special gift for my 30th birthday. Here's a picture:

I love it so much and wear it everyday! Can't wait to see the face of our sweet baby and to give the necklace to her one day!

First baby doll!

We are still waiting on our home study to be rewritten and resubmited to USCIS for approval. Our home study agency says they should have this ready tomorrow. The waiting hasn't been fun, but in the meantime, we've been keeping busy with Kendall and Cooper! Today we went on a shopping trip to Pearland. Kendall needed a hair cut, we got a couple of new dresses for school, some party supplies for Cooper's upcoming 2nd birthday party, we had a lunch date at Panera, and we found this!!

I had seen some people mention that Carter's had this in our Lifeline facebook group, and after I had already checked out there today, I remembered it! I went to see if they had it and they did! I was super excited. This is the first thing we've bought for our sweet baby in China and Randy and I just love it. We love that she will have a baby to love that looks just like her. Now to keep it safe until she gets here...these two big sisters are ready to meet their new little sister!

Request For Evidence

Translation: NOT what you want to get in the mail from USCIS.

We got home from our trip to Ft. Worth on July 30th, totally expecting to see our immigration approval from US Citizenship and Immigration Services in the mail. It was not. So, we were confident we would get it one day that week. It didn't come.

This Monday, August 6, we went to the mailbox and DID have a letter from USCIS. So excited, thinking this was our approval, we opened it to find that it was a Request For Evidence.

Stink.

Apparently, before they can send us our immigration approval, they need more detail in our home study report - our OH SO DETAILED home study report. Our representative at Lifeline said that this is actually becoming more and more common and that she has actually had three clients lately get this RFE notice.

So what this means is that we get with our social worker here in Texas that wrote our home study report, she adds the information they are requesting to our report, fixes some wording, and when that is complete we re-submit our home study to USCIS. And then, (hopefully!!) we get our approval.

I was pretty upset at first, understanding that this was just more of a delay in this crazy road to our daughter. I am so ready to see her face. SO READY.

But....I realize that things are moving as quickly as we can possibly make them on our end, I realize that all of this is in God's perfect timing, and I am choosing to trust and rest while we are waiting. Even choosing to be thankful. We have so much to be thankful for, and we trust in our God who sees the whole picture. He knows why we needed this slow-down and we believe He will give us our daughter in His perfect timing.

Please continue to pray with us to that end. We are still praying our big prayer for a referral by Christmas. Even if we do not have our dossier in China on my birthday, we still believe this is possible for a God who does what seems impossible to us. Thank you for your support and your prayers for our family and for our daughter! We are so thankful for you!!

"Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." Exodus 14:13-14

Biometrics Appointment...Walk-In!

Two and a half weeks after our I800A was mailed to USCIS, we received our biometric fingerprinting appointment in the mail. We were so excited to open it...and then we saw that they assigned us to an appointment on this coming Tuesday, July 24th, when we will be out of town! The only rescheduling option on the appointment notice was to write a letter to the main office in Virginia and then they would mail a letter back to us with a new appointment. Ugh. I was thinking by the time we wrote the letter, received a letter back, and got home from our trip, it would delay us at least a week, if not more. So this Monday morning I called the USCIS headquarters and they said that the only option was to write the letter requesting a rescheduling. Bummer. Then I called L (our Lifeline representative - not sure if that's private or not?) and she said that sometimes people have success just walking in to the office they were assigned to and asking to just go ahead and do the fingerprinting. But, there's no way to call each individual office - everything goes through the main office in Virginia.

We thought about it for a few days - we were assigned to the closest office to us which was in Sugar Land (south Houston....1 hour away). So driving up there on the chance that they would take walk-ins meant Randy taking a half day of vacation and making the 2 hour round trip, which is a lot of gas! All for the chance that they would take us early or possibly send us right back home and tell us to reschedule. Randy and I both did some research and we decided from some things we were hearing that it was worth the risk to go up there.

So yesterday morning, we got up super early, pulled the girls out of bed at 7 and put them straight in the car in their pajamas and set out for Sugar Land - praying the whole way! When we got there a little after 8 when they opened, Randy went in to see about us walking in and I started to get the girls out of their seats and try to get the clothes on them that I had brought. He came back out pretty fast and said, "Let's go! Just grab the girls in their pajamas - there is no wait and they said they would take us now!!" SOOO excited!! We were in and out in ten minutes and now we have our biometrics DONE!!

When we got back in the car, Randy said, "Who wants to go for celebration pancakes?!" Both the girls screamed "yes!" so we found the closest Dennys and had breakfast with them in their pajamas still. Such a fun way to celebrate - and such a fun thing to be celebrating! :)

So what does all this mean? Why are we so excited? Our immigration approval is waiting on those fingerprints. The latest I've heard is that we could possibly receive our approval notice 5 business days from yesterday. So we could possibly come home from our trip to Ft.Worth on the 30th and have our approval in the mail!!

This week I sent the final documents for our dossier to L so she could make sure they were all ready to go to the authentication and certification stage. Once we have our immigration approval, we'll scan it, email it to her, she will add it to the 12 other documents that go in our dossier and she will send it off for certification and authentication. This typically takes 2-3 weeks. THEN....we will be ready to send our dossier to China!!! L said we could do this 2 or 3 days before my birthday on August 24th, so we may still have everything by then.

Finally, just a quick summary of what happens after that: After your dossier gets to China, it takes about 2-3 weeks to get a Log-in Date. Once you have this, you are eligible to start receiving referrals (a referral is a file of a child we could adopt!) Referrals are typically made when the Shared List comes out once a month, and this is usually at the end of the month (around the 23rd-25th?). So, if we have our dossier there at the end of August, get a log-in date mid-September, I think we could possibly start receiving referrals when the September shared list is released! Ahhh!!! We are prepared to wait several months for our little girl's referral, but just knowing that we will possibly be logged-in so soon is super super exciting.

Thanks for reading all this if you have stayed with me this long. We are excited and are excited to share our journey with you!

I800A...Sent!

I received an email from our social worker at Lifeline today telling me that she overnighted our I800A application to USCIS!! We are officially in the immigration stage and will now wait for notice of their receipt of the paperwork and then a biometric fingerprinting appointment.

It is typical that waiting on the approval from USCIS takes about 2 months. In this 2 months, we will continue work on building our dossier. Once we have the approval, I will scan it and email it to Lifeline and they will immediately begin the process of certifying and authenticating all our documents for China. That takes about 2-3 weeks, and then we will be DTC - dossier to China!!!

Praying BIG Things...and an update!

We are getting closer to having all our paperwork turned in to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) or Homeland Security for our immigration approval! We have completed the I800A form, sent that, some documents, and our check to Lifeline, and once our social worker there has our completed home study in her hands, she will send it all off to USCIS. We saw our home study report about 2 weeks ago, submitted some corrections on our end, and our social worker at Lifeline submitted some corrections as well, so now we are just waiting for IFS to finalize all those and get the notarized copy to Alabama.

The application that we completed for homeland security is asking for approval to be able to adopt a child. This approval will be sent in our dossier to China, showing that the US government says we are ok to be able to adopt a child from China.

While we are waiting on this approval, we will continue to build our dossier. The dossier consists of 13 documents that are all certified and authenticated and is what the Chinese government looks at before they are able to log us in to their system. I just recieved the handbook this week from Lifeline, telling me all the documents I can work on compiling, so I will post more about the dossier later.

For now, I thought I would share some of the things Randy and I are praying for right now, and ask if you are praying for us if you would pray these specific things as well. We have already seen God answer big prayers and we believe that he wants us to ask more big things! So we are, and here are the 4 big prayers we are praying:

1. That we would complete our adoption debt-free, having everything we need each step along the way. This is a big prayer. So far, we have had everything we have needed as it has come due and we are so thankful for God's faithfulness to provide that! Just a quick update: so far we have paid close to $8,000 in various fees, which means we have (roughly) $22,000 left throughout the whole process. We believe God will be faithful to provide this as we "pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on us!" (Quote from The Circlemaker by Mark Batterson - loving that book right now!)

2. That we would receive a referral for our little girl by Christmas, and that she would be at least a year younger than Cooper. We are hoping to send our dossier at the end of August, when I turn 30 (China's requirement) and when Cooper is turning 2. Typically a referral could come quickly after that, which would mean that we would need a 12-13 month old to be a year younger than Coop. That is a very uncommon age for referrals - they generally are closer to 16-18 months old. So while we do want to have that year span, we are anxious to see her and know who she is. That is why we are praying for a referral by Christmas. By then Cooper would be 2 years and 4 months old, which means our daughter could be closer to 16 months. Big prayer - but our God is bigger! Will you join us in praying for that??

3. For her attachment and bonding with us. We are praying that she is attaching with care-givers and nannies now, even though that may mean a rough transition when we get to her. We want her to know how to attach, so that it will be easier for her to attach to us. Also, we are praying for a quick and easy attachment to both me AND to Randy. Often, it is easier for the children to bond to women, because that is who they have known caring for them their whole lives. Randy wants just as badly as me to hold her, love on her, and care for her though, so we are praying that she bonds to both of us quickly!

4. Finally, we are praying for our family when we bring our new daughter home. We are praying that Kendall and Cooper bond quickly with her and that they don't feel jealous or left out.  We are praying for us, that we will have the strength and energy required to care for 3 children, one of whom will probably have a lot of needs early on. And we are praying for wisdom for how to lead our family through this new stage of our lives.

I mentioned the book The Circlemaker that I have been reading lately. I love these two quotes from the book:
"Are your problems bigger than God, or is God bigger than your problems? Our biggest problem is our small view of God. That is the cause of all lesser evils. And it's a high view of God that is the solution to all other problems."
"If you've never had a God-sized dream that scared you half to death, then you haven't really come to life. If you've never been overwhelmed by the impossibility of your plans, then your God is too small.  If your vision isn't perplexingly impossible, then you need to expand the radiuses of your prayer circles."

We have been overwhelmed, we have been a little scared, and we wonder how in the world these four prayers will be answered. But we feel so at peace because of Who we are trusting in - and we are absolutely LOVING the ride!!

"I lift my eyes up to the hills - where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

Thank you for joining us in praying for BIG things!!

Lately...

I thought it was time for an update! We are still waiting on our home study report to be written up by our social worker. I was told it would take around 3-4 weeks from our last home visit. Today was exactly three weeks since our last home visit, so I am hopeful that that will come in soon! I'm getting a little impatient... :)

In the meantime, our social worker at Lifeline emailed me a list of documents that she still needed on her end before we would be able to submit our I-800-A form for immigration. Just a little timeline as to what is coming: when our social worker finishes our home study report, she will send that to Lifeline and they will review it to make sure it is acceptable to send to China. While they are reviewing it, they will go ahead and send us the I-800-A form to fill out and then all of that (form and home study) will be sent to US Customs and Immigration Services, in Dallas. The approval we need from them should take around 2-3 months, and then we will be ready to be DTC (Dossier to China)!! Hopefully that happens close to my birthday on August 24th.

The documents that I have been working on getting to Lifeline have been:
- Child Desired form (more on this in a later post)
- Certificate of Income and Property
- Pay check stubs
- Financial Worksheet (information on insurance, prices of therapies, etc)
- Letters of Profession (per spouse)
- Proposed Guardian form
- Education certificates (saying we have completed our required hours)
- Autobiographies
- Questionnaires
- Medicals (more on this in a later post)

Some of these were pretty fast and some took a lot longer. We have completed everything as of today except for the medicals and Randy needs to finish his questionnaires. We should have all that wrapped up this week!

We are excited and ready to move on to the next stage. I have heard that it is harder to wait when you're not on the paper chase that we are now, but any progress sounds great to me! I am so ready to have our referral and see the sweet face of the little girl God has for us!

**Update on the Update**
I have finished my questionnaires :)
(and the medicals are complete - after 5 visits to the doctor!!) - Randy

Garage Sale!

We had a massive garage sale last weekend! We had a smaller one earlier this year, but since then a bunch of families have had stuff they wanted to donate to us for another sale to help raise money for our adoption. We started collecting donations a couple of months ago and set last weekend as the date for our sale. We had so much stuff!! It was really crazy. It started to take over our garage and I wondered how I would ever begin to go through all of it and sort it. Here is a picture of our garage pre-sorting:

Then I sorted it and it was still a lot! When I went through it all, and started to organize, it grew. I had to move a bunch inside the house and then even out onto the back porch!

We have had beautiful weather this spring and then the weekend we were planning on having the sale, there were crazy high rain chances! ugh. We debated on and off what to do and landed on deciding to still have it. It stormed very hard all night Thursday night but by Friday morning it was starting to taper off. We started with only what we had in the garage but were eventually able to pull everything out on the driveway. Thankfully - it was so much!

We had so many sweet friends help us with the sale! Not only did over a dozen families donate items for the sale, but I had help the week of and the two days of the sale! Michelle, Jennifer Watson, and Mary Margaret even came over Friday morning at 6am to help us get set up! Those are good friends! Stephanie came and helped later in the day on Saturday and Michelle was there the whole time both days. We are so thankful for sweet friends who sacrifice so much for us!

The girls did GREAT both days! They slept late in the mornings, then when they woke up they alternated between playing outside and watching movies inside. Kendall felt big that she was able to climb this ladder. Check out her crown, pajamas, and rain boots. She was stylin! :)

Cooper was in heaven. She just wandered around, would find things to play with and was just busy the whole time. We caught this picture of her playing with an elmo toy that was for sale, sitting on a lid to one of the totes of clothes. She is so cute.

They explored the puddles and checked out all the worms.

Molly did well, too. She would find someplace out of the way to curl up and sleep. This was a favorite spot - one of the totes of baby clothes. People would walk by and not realize she was there and then notice her all of the sudden and just laugh!

Check out this good deal! :) She really was such a good girl and had so much fun.

Molly at the end of the day! She was worn out and so were we!

We've never done a two day sale before and it was exhausting. It was very successful, though! We made $1,150!! Totally worth all the hard work. We're so thankful for all the friends who helped and who donated their stuff. Garage sale=success!

Home Visits Completed

This week we finished all our home visits with our social worker! Friday, April 27th she came and did Randy's individual interview. The girls and I just stayed in the back bedroom while they talked. Then Monday the 30th she came for my interview and Kendall's interview.

Oh. my.

First, I have to start by saying how understanding she was and how patient she was with us. She told me that our time was no crazier than any other interview she tries to conduct with kids around. So that made me feel better. But oh wow - it was nuts. Absolute craziness. I had Kendall in the living room watching a movie when she got there, because I figured that would keep her occupied so we could talk. Cooper won't ever watch tv, so I had just decided she would probably end up in my lap anyway. Our social worker got there and everything just started going downhill. The girls fought over toys, Kendall needed candy (it was 10:30am!), Cooper was up and down in every chair at the kitchen table, and basically it was just super hard to sit and have a conversation. Not just a light conversation either - we are talking about my life growing up, my family, favorite moments in my life, what I love about being a mom...heavy stuff like that! And we were interrupted constantly. At one point I even had to take Kendall to time out. Awesome.

With all that, I didn't have high hopes at all for how well Kendall's interview would go. But by the time we wrapped up my portion and she was ready to talk to Kendall, she came and sat right in my lap and was very sweet and answered all of her questions! I have had a lot of people ask me what kinds of things she wanted to talk to her about - I was pretty curious as well! She started off just by talking to her about school and about her friends at school. Then she asked her what she thought about having a new little sister, and asked if she knew where she was coming from. We've talked about it before, but she must not have remembered because she just said, "I don't know." Our social worker told her China and I said, "Yes, remember who we've talked about that she may look like?" Kendall said, "Yes! Mulan!" Our social worker said, "Oh, is that someone in your class?" Um, no. Like the (very popular) Disney movie. Ha! After that she just talked to Kendall about how she would have to help teach her English and then that was pretty much it! I'm sure it gets a little more heavy as the children get older, but there's just not a lot of information you can get out of a four year old! I was proud of Kendall for speaking with her.

So that's it! Now we just wait for her to write our report and send it to Lifeline. I am excited to be finished with this part of the process and move on to Immigration.

I intended to post a picture last time of the beautiful orchid our sweet friends Mike and Chantel gave us the night before our first home visit. They are in the middle of the adoption process right now too, and it has been so neat to have friends on the same journey with us as we've begun. She said she hoped that this would remind us of the new beginning God is giving our family and that it would be a symbol to us of our daughter waiting for us. I love it so much!

First Home Visit...Check!

We had our first of three home visits on Friday! The girls have been in Ft. Worth at Gigi and Peeps' house since Thursday, so we were able to have our joint interview with the social worker without having to worry about them interrupting.
I really like our social worker! She is very warm and down-to-earth and we just had a really fun conversation for about an hour and a half. She talked to us some about adoption and then she asked us some questions about our marriage, parenting, discipline, etc. We really enjoyed talking with her and sharing our story.
After the interview, we talked through next steps and then she took a tour of the house. This was so much more casual than I thought it would be! She mainly looked for smoke alarms, outlet covers, fire extinguishers, asked about firearms, and looked for cords draping across the floor. Mostly she commented on how cute she thought our house was! :)
She is required to come to our house three times, so her next visit will be this Friday. When she comes then, she will do just Randy's individual interview. Then she will be here the following Monday, the 30th, to do my interview and Kendall's. That should be interesting!
I have no idea how long it takes to write up the home study report, but I would be so excited if she was able to finish it next week after our last visit. Maybe we could have our official report in the next two weeks! That would be great!

Finally, just an update on our puzzle piece fundraiser: we have sold 416 pieces as of this weekend! That's almost half! We are super excited and thankful. We were able to use some of that money for our home study payment, which was $2,300! If you still want to be a part of our puzzle, let us know. We are trying to raise all the money we need for our next payment to Lifeline ($2,000) that has to be made before we are able to apply for grants. That payment is due when our home study is complete and turned in to them, so we could be making that sometime this month! We are also planning a big garage sale for May 11th and 12th, and have received so many donations of items from friends. We are so thankful for so many people's support of our adoption! Thanks for being with us on this journey to our sweet baby girl!

First Home Visit Set!

We were assigned a social worker last week and heard from her on Monday this week to set up our first home visit! The first day we were able to schedule it for is next Friday, April 20th. I was a little bummed about this at first, because I just felt like we were losing 2 more weeks to this part of the process. But I know this will all be in God's timing and I am trusting that!
We learned from her that she has to come out to the house two times and then she will write up our report. She has to interview us together, then separately, interview Kendall, and take a home tour. She said she will just divide these things up over the two visits.
She seemed really nice on the phone! Also, we talked with our friends at church who also used this agency for their home study and they had the same social worker! They had good things to say, so that was good to hear.
In the meantime, we are working on our Hague education requirements. Making progress!

Home Study Documents - Sent!

These are terrible pictures, and I'm not really sure what my hair was doing, but it doesn't matter because...

our home study documents have been mailed! Yesterday we took them to the post office and $5(!) later, they should arrive at the IFS office today! I made copies and went ahead and sent some of the documents on to Lifeline as well, because we will need some of them in our dossier.

I'm sure I looked like an absolute goof taking my own picture holding up the envelope in the post office, but you have to celebrate this stuff, right? :) 

When I called my friend Kim at IFS to tell her the documents were on their way and to be looking for them today, she said, "Oh wow - you were fast!" Yes! Two weeks and one day. Score.

So now we wait to hear from them about scheduling our home visits! And in the meantime we can begin working on our education hours that are required. More about that soon.

Thanks for celebrating with us!

A Piece of Our Puzzle

When you adopt a child into your family there are a lot of pieces that have to come together.  Some pieces you can plan for and some pieces you cannot.  Adoption is a journey of faith full of tons of details and experiences that sometimes leave you puzzled.  We are on the very first part of this journey and we have already experienced many of these moments.  Sometimes you are puzzled, wondering how this will all come together.  How will our home study go?  How will we come up with the necessary funds?  How will life be different with three children?  And then, sometimes you are puzzled, wondering how this miracle is already taking place.  How did God know we needed courage?  How can people be so generous to us?  How can we not share all of the love and opportunities that we have been blessed with?

The pieces of our puzzle are coming together!  Some just according to plan, and for some there is not a plan.

We know that we are not the only ones adopting this child - choosing this child.  Our friends and family will choose her too.  You will choose to generously love and support her just like you do us.  We want you to be a piece of our puzzle - her puzzle.

There are many ways that we know you will shape her life once she is in our family, but there is a specific way you can help us now. We are doing a puzzle fundraiser - here is how it works:

1. We bought a puzzle that has 1,000 pieces and are selling each piece for $5.00. When you buy one or more pieces to the puzzle, we will write your name on the back of the puzzle piece. You are also welcome to sign your name yourself!
2. As the pieces begin to come together, we will work the puzzle, and eventually we will frame it with the back showing and all the names of the friends and family who helped bring our little girl home.
3. We will hang the framed puzzle in our daughter's room as an altar - we want this to be a reminder to us and to her of God's faithfulness. God often had the Israelites build altars after big events so they would always remember. We want to always be moving forward in our walk with God, but also remembering all He has already done for us!

If you would like to be a piece of our puzzle, you can send the money to our home address. If you don't know our address, email us at ashleydane6@hotmail.com.

It is going to be so much fun to watch this puzzle come together!

Update: 4-1-12
The puzzle is framed in! We are so thankful for all who have already bought pieces of our puzzle. Let us know if you want to be a piece!

Home Study Update

I just wanted to give a quick update as to where we are in the home study process. Randy and I have been working hard on completing the (huge!) autobiographies, as well as gathering all of the necessary documents to send to International Family Services. As of today, I only lack two things to be finished: a report from our doctor and Randy's autobiography. Randy preached last weekend and will be preaching again this weekend, so he's had two messages to write in the midst of going to Galveston with our students for a Spring Break mission trip this week! He is close to being finished, though, so I anticipate being able to send off our whole packet early next week.

For those who are curious about what we have to compile and turn in, here is a list:
- birth certificates (all 4 of us)
- marriage certificate
- local police check for both Randy and me
- high school or college transcript or diploma
- medical clearance letter for us and for the girls
- tax return
- copies of Social Security cards
- monthly budget
- net worth spreadsheet
- statement from our mortgage company that we are current on our mortgage
- latest pay stub
- copies of our passports
- copies of our insurance cards
- statement from our insurance company that our child will be covered under our insurance from time of placement.
- sketch of our house floor plan with dimensions and use of each room
- photos of the outside of our home
- veterinarian letter saying that Molly is current on vaccinations and not a threat to children
- signed fee schedule
- signed adoption placement agreement
- signed Prohibition Against Child Buying
- signed Duty to Disclose
- application completed and notarized
- AND our two autobiographies. Believe it or not, these autobiographies have taken more time than gathering all the other documents. They are SO detailed!

Once we get all of this paperwork turned in, IFS will begin scheduling our interviews and home visits!! That whole process and them writing up the report should take about 4-6 weeks.

Hopefully next week I will have a post saying that we have turned everything in to them! It will be a relief to get all of this mailed off. I have also been brainstorming ways to raise extra money to pay for the home study and our next agency fee. I have a fun, creative idea, so check back soon for that!

Home Study Agency

This ball is rolling and we are excited!! Since we chose an out of state agency to complete our adoption through (Lifeline = Alabama), we needed to find an agency in Texas that is Hague Acredited to do our home study for us. I did some research and found that there is only one in the Houston area and it is called International Family Services. I was a little unsure of just choosing an agency without a recommendation, though, so I asked some friends from church who recently adopted who they used for their home study. They completed an independent adoption from Ghana, so their agency didn't have to be a Hague agency, but she told me they also used IFS! I was very excited to hear about their experience and to hear that they didn't have any trouble with them.

Yesterday I called IFS and asked them about having a contract home study done. This is what it is called when you are not using an agency as your placing agency, but only for the home study portion of the adoption. The lady I spoke with, Kim, was very nice and helpful and had all the information I needed. She sent me an email right away with the autobiography we each have to complete and mailed me a packet of information with applications and lists of all the other documents we need to begin collecting.

So here's what this process will look like: We can begin working on the autobiographies and gathering all the documents now. She said it usually takes people 3-4 weeks to do this, but that if we really work we can probably get it all completed in 2 weeks. Once we submit all our paperwork to them, they will assign us a caseworker and begin scheduling our home visits and interviews. I believe there will be 4-5 of these. Kim said that from the time they get our paperwork, it will take them 4-6 weeks to complete all the visits and write the report. So all total we are looking at the home study taking roughly 6-8 weeks, depending on how fast we can do our part!

I began working on my autobiography last night. The form is the same for each of us, but we have to fill it out individually. The word Kim used to describe it was "nasty" and she was right - it is 17 pages long, with just questions one right after the other on each page. I have started filling it in, probably spent about 3-4 hours total on it so far, and I am only about halfway finished! If you can think of a question to ask us about anything in our lives, it is on there. It's crazy detailed.

We had our orientation interview today with our caseworker from Lifeline, Logan. Randy and I both enjoyed talking with her and getting to share our hearts for adoption and what has led us to this point. She asked us questions and then she shared the timeline in a more detailed way with us. We were able to ask her some questions and we ended up being on the phone with her for about an hour. She clarified a little for us on how this partnership with our home study agency works and what we need to do with Lifeline while we are working with IFS. She is really great and we are thankful to have such a helpful, encouraging person walking us through each step of the process!

So that's where we are now! Time to start hunting down all the documents we need to submit and making copies of paperwork we already have here at home. And filling out the autobiographies. Yikes! Lots of work but we are excited to have work to do towards our ultimate goal!