Palate Surgery

Calli's surgery to close her palate was last Thursday, August 15th. Exactly three months post lip surgery and 4 months after we brought her home.

Our doctor told us to expect this recovery to be much harder. To expect a 3-4 night hospital stay, and that she would be "puny" for about two weeks post surgery. We have been so impressed with how well Calli has done with everything so far, that I think we didn't really believe him. Turns out he was right. We have had a rough week.

Thursday morning we had to be at the hospital at 6:00. Granny came down to LJ on Wednesday, so she was home with the big girls so Randy and I could take Calli. We had a couple of hours in pre-op before they took her back for surgery at 8.

Surgery took about 3 hours, just like Dr. T told us it would. Gigi and Peeps came down and sat with us during surgery, which helped pass the time. I have started sewing Calli's stocking, so that helped keep my hands busy, too! Our ENT put tubes in her ears first, and drained a lot of fluid. It is very common for children with clefts to need tubes because fluid builds up. She'll probably have several sets of tubes over the course of her childhood. It was great to just be able to do it while she was already under for palate surgery. Dr. Roy came out and told us that he was able to place the tubes, that it went fine, but that he drained a ton of fluid and she has "unusually small ear canals." At 11:30, Dr. T came out and said everything went well! Then we had to wait to be told we could go back and see her in recovery - that was the hardest part for me! Knowing she was waking up but hadn't been taken to recovery yet - we just wanted to be with her. I think it was only about 15 minutes until they took us back, but that was the longest wait of the morning.
Here she is with Randy in recovery. She was sleeping much more this time than the previous two procedures. The sweet nurse took her quilt and baby back with her for surgery and when we came in to recovery, we saw that baby even had a bandage. So cute! They put the no-nos on her arms again, just to keep her from sticking her hands in her mouth. We took them off at some point in recovery and never had to put them on her again - thankfully.

Feeding her some juice with a syringe. Sweet baby was so thirsty and I lost count of how many syringes of juice we gave her - more than a dozen.

Her drool was very bloody, so we kept blankets or towels on us most of the first day. After about two hours in recovery, they moved us up to our room and Gigi and Peeps met us up there. She just wanted to sleep/lay on me, and I was so happy to just let her!

 Thursday was just a long day of letting her sleep on and off, and trying to keep her comfortable. She had morphine every hour or so most of that day, and she was on some other kind of pain killer as well. She drank some the first day, but I don't think she ate much. This is how we slept that night - her on my chest and Randy on the couch next to us. We were up every hour or so, but she was at least able to rest some.

Friday morning started around 5:30, so by 8 or so we were ready to get out of the room. There was a very fun play room on our floor, so we carried her down there and played for awhile. Anything to keep her distracted!

She grabbed her cup shortly after surgery and would not let it go the rest of the time we were in the hospital. In fact, she is still sleeping with it at night. So now we have baby, cup, quilt, and a little puppy the girls brought her when they came with Granny. It's a full bed.

The ipad helped keep her distracted, as well. Her face swelled a lot, and it changed a lot throughout the first couple of days. She would lay on one side and then sit up and her face would be swollen a different way. We were glad when the swelling started to go down.

 We had several visitors that helped pass the time so well! Gigi and Peeps stayed all day Thursday, Kathy and Mary came to see us Thursday evening, Lindsey came Friday morning, Mary and Nathan came and brought us dinner Friday night, and Michelle and Kaitlin came and brought us Sprinkles cupcakes Friday night. But the most exciting visitors for Calli were her big sisters. Granny brought them on Friday and she got excited for the first time our whole visit when those sweet girls walked in! They brought her some balloons, flowers, and a baby puppy, but she was mostly just excited to see them. Kendall and Coop were so sweet, hugging on her and talking so gently to her. Lindsey had brought some markers and coloring sheets, so the girls loved coloring those together. We all went and ate lunch in the cafeteria, and then when we came back, Calli fell asleep on Granny. She was enjoying having her Granny hold her, which gave me a little break - up until then I had been holding her the whole time.

 Friday night went much better than Thursday night, and by Saturday morning at 7, the doctor had come in to tell us we could go home! It took awhile to get our prescriptions ready, so we left around 11 and were home by noon! Granny and Papas had cleaned the whole house, went to the grocery store for us, and picked up lunch and dinner. They took the girls to swim while we napped with Calli, and we were so thankful for all their help!

Mary and Kathy even organized meals for us for this week after surgery! I didn't think we would need it, but her recovery has been so hard and she has just wanted to be held all the time that it has been so great to not worry about food. Kathy and Jerry Peters came over Sunday afternoon with a LARGE ice chest full of Bluebell, popsicles, and chocolate syrup! So fun! We've had meals from the Hundls, Erskines, Picks, Mitts, Hendersons, Whiteheads, Coopers, and Watsons. I can't even say how thankful we have been!!

So our week has been spent at home, in our pajamas, just being lazy and taking care of Calli. She has been waking up three to four times a night and has been on pain meds every three hours. Today (Friday) has been the best day yet and we're hopeful she is getting better! Kendall and Cooper have been such big helpers - mostly by being easy so I could focus on Calli. They've gotten a little extra tv time this week, more time on the computer, and had a lot of time just playing together. They've been great. Calli and I have been rocking, walking, trying to eat some, and just sitting together. I've been so thankful for the way she has let me love on her and comfort her - I think I'll post about that later.

She's eaten a few bites of mashed potatoes, some yogurt, green beans, lots of ice cream, and even some cereal! She's so tough and brave - and maybe starving - that even though it hurts after just a couple of bites, she keeps trying new things! We're amazed at her.

Some days she's just needed to ride in the carrier and stay close. And I'm ok with that! BTW - she has her puppy and her cup somewhere in there. It never leaves her these days! 0

 This week has been hard, but we are so impressed with Calli and amazed at her bravery. It must be so strange to have a roof of her mouth when she's never had anything up there before, to breathe a different way, and to have the amount of pain that she has had. But she has been so awesome, has let us love on her, and has just been great! We're so thankful! Thank you for your prayers for her!

Oh - yesterday was our post-op appointment with Dr. T and he said everything looks like it should! He said to expect her behavior to be like this for about another week. She is collecting food in the roof of her mouth, which looks bad to us, but he said that is to be expected and isn't a problem as long as she is drinking. He said she is very impressive and very beautiful. We knew that! We'll go back and see him in 6 weeks! 

Hospital Thoughts

Our hospital stay was very special to me, in ways that I did not expect. I journaled about it when we came home and everyone but Calli and I were at church on Sunday. I want to record it here, so that it is in Calli's book someday and so that she knows how sweet this time was for me.

 

"The whole hospital stay was a little surreal to me. The only other times I've stayed in a hospital were when Kendall and Cooper were born, so that's what I think of when I think of being in a hospital. Those were some of the sweetest days of my life and are honestly something I miss when I think about being done having children. I just loved those days when it was all about taking care of my babies, learning more about them, and just focusing on them. I have grieved that I missed that sweet time with Calli. Well, the past two days in the hospital totally felt like God was giving me that time back. It started after surgery when we were taken up to our room. They let me carry Calli, but I had to ride in a wheelchair. That totally made me feel like I had a newborn. Then, when we were settled, she just wanted me to hold her. I just soaked that up. Not only did I feel like God was giving me and her that "newborn" time back, I also felt like he was redeeming that SO HARD time in China. She was so scared then, she was grieving so much, and I SO badly wanted her to let me comfort her. She didn't then, but now she was. She was hurting and she wanted ME! I thanked God over and over as I held her and just soaked up the fact that she was allowing me to comfort her. Randy left at one point to go grab some food for us and it was just me and Calli, snugging in the bed in our room. I wept tears of joy at the sweet time we were having and at the many works God has done in her little life - in the past four months AND in her whole two years. I am overwhelmed by the blessing of being her mama and at the way she lets me love her."

 

And now, this week, even though it has been hard, has also been such a joy. I think that when I would normally be frustrated by her neediness, or tired because of lack of sleep, I have just been thankful that she is wanting me to comfort her. I'm not sure if that's why God allowed our time in China to go the way it did - I'm sure there were many other reasons, especially the sweet time she had with her Daddy - but that two weeks being so hard has made me ONLY thankful for the difference in her behavior now, just four months later. I am ONLY thankful to get to hold her all day. I am ONLY thankful to rock her in the middle of the night. God has bonded us together in a way that ONLY he can in such a short amount of time, and I am so thankful.

4 Month Update!

Calli Faith was placed in our arms four months ago today! It seems crazy to us to think that it was only four months ago - so much has happened since then and she has changed so much. Several people have asked us why we aren't blogging as much, but we are - just not on this blog. Our family blog is where we do most of our blogging, so you can see more updates there, at www.theymakeuslaugh.blogspot.com. We'll continue to update this one periodically with news just about Calli and how she's doing, but it won't be as often as the other one.

Calli really is changing so much, and even in the past week or two has started doing so many new things! She is officially 23 months old now and we are on the countdown to her second birthday on August 31. She and Cooper will be having a school bus party (Cooper's request) and we are so excited about that! Remember, she and Cooper share a birthday, so Calli will turn 2 and Cooper will turn 3 on the 31st. :)

She is communicating so well and understands absolutely everything we say. Even when we don't use gestures or do anything special to try to get her to understand, she hears and picks up on everything we tell her. She's pretty amazing! And she is telling us a lot, too. She has started shaking her head yes or no, and she has more words and signs. She can do the signs for more, all done, please, thank you, you're welcome, wait, and help. And she can say mama, baba, Kengal, Coop-Coop, Moll, help, all done, thank you, night-night, uh-oh, and just this week she copied me when I said "I love you!" We just loving watching her learn and try new things and we are so proud of her.

She is a busy, busy girl. She loves to play with her big sisters and they just love her so much. Cooper and her fuss at each other sometimes, but just typical 2 and 3 year old stuff. She love, love, loves the bath, and still love, love, loves to eat. Her attachment to food has gotten better though in the past month - she doesn't have to be eating all the time and will even leave food on her plate sometimes. She is awesome at riding in the car and sleeps from 8-6:45 every night, with a 2 hour nap every day. For bed, we turn on her music, rock her a little, lay her down awake with her baby and her quilt and she just puts herself right to sleep!

One week from today is her cleft palate surgery. Her lip was closed on May 15th, but her palate has still been open all this time. That means there is basically just a big opening into her nasal cavity, so we definitely still see food come out her nose a lot! It also means she has no roof of her mouth, and still can't suck or make some of those sounds that require your tongue to press against the top of your mouth (esp "d"). Her lip surgery was just day surgery, so we were in and out, but our doctor told us with this to expect a 3-4 day stay in the hospital. Boo. She has just done so well this far, that we really expect her to bounce back pretty quickly and maybe we will get out in less time than that. You can pray with us for her recovery from this surgery. She's got a birthday to get ready for!

We also have an important appointment with a different specialist on Monday, to get the results from her latest round of blood work and the MRI she had a couple weeks ago. We are ready to hear next steps in that area.

Finally, an update on bonding and attachment with us and with Calli. This has gone so, so well. I read back in my journal yesterday from the weeks right around when we first had her, and I just wept in amazement at where God has brought us. We are a different family than we were then. She loves us so much and we believe she really does understand that we are Mom and Dad and we are the most important people to her. And as far as how we feel about her - I'm at a loss for words. She is our daughter. Like Kendall and Cooper are our daughters. She is our Calli Faith. We love her to pieces and are so thankful God gave her to us. I still pray for her birth mother and father every day, that they would know the Lord and know his peace. And I look at Calli in amazement, thankful for the parents that wanted so much for her and risked so much for her so she could be part of our family. It's hard to wrap my mind around, and all I can do is praise God for his hand in her life. Thank you for loving her, too, and for your part in helping her become part of our family. We have the best family and friends and are so thankful!

We'll update the blog next week after her surgery. Thank you for your prayers for her!

MRI

Last week we had to be in Houston at 5:30 am for an MRI Calli had scheduled. Thankfully, Mom was here to be with the big girls, so we didn't have to worry about waking them up. Randy and I got up WAY too early, got ready, and then just loaded Calli in the car in her pajamas. She was a little confused but totally great on the ride up.

Because they needed her to be perfectly still for the MRI, and because it would take about two hours, they had to completely sedate her with full anesthesia. Ugh. So we were back in the pediatric day surgery unit at Hermann. And can I just say that we are loving that place?! They are such an answer to prayer. This was the same place we were for her lip surgery just 2 months ago. Everyone takes such good care of us and of Calli and makes us all feel comfortable. This visit, 4 separate nurses looked at us and remembered Calli from last time. We thought that was so cool! Everyone is so sweet.

Last time we didn't walk with Calli from pre-op to the operating room, but this time we were able to walk with her from pre-op to the radiology room where she would have the MRI. Before we walked down there, they gave her an oral medicine (Versed) to chill her out a little. Then we carried her down to the room and were with her when the anesthesia nurse (who did everything! way more than the actual anesthesiologist!) put the mask on her and let her fall asleep. She did great! They put the iv and everything in her after she was asleep so she wouldn't fuss. Then we left and they had her about two hours.

Here she is in her beautiful hospital gown:

After a couple hours, they came and got us and took us to recovery. She was pretty upset coming out of the anesthesia this time. We held her and stayed there for about an hour and then were released to go home. She stayed pretty upset most of the way home but started feeling better once we were home. She still couldn't sit by herself, or walk, which made us laugh a little. :) Sweet girl - she's so brave and we are so thankful for such wonderful medical care!

Also - this is not related to her cleft at all. She has another condition that we just are monitoring and getting all kinds of baseline data so the specialist can know how to move forward. We've had an ultrasound already, lots of blood work, and now the MRI. Nothing major - just lots of tests and appointments!

Her Voice

Calli's palate surgery is scheduled for the middle of August. We are not looking forward to it, as the recovery will be much harder for her. We repaired her lip back in May, but she still has no roof of her mouth. This surgery will give her a palate and will help with her speech development.

I have been following another adoptive family's blog who brought their daughter home from China less than a year ago. She is just a couple of months older than Calli and also had cleft lip and palate. Her palate surgery was just last week, and her mom wrote this post yesterday about how her recovery is going and how her voice has changed. You can read it here - such a sweet post. If you have time, she has a wonderful blog and it's great to read.

We hadn't even thought of how the sound of her voice would change! She makes a lot of sounds, but doesn't have many words at this point. Reading this made me realize how even the sounds she makes will change, and it encouraged me to record her as much as I can before the surgery.

So last night, we were sitting on the couch and I was able to get some great video! I turned the camera where she could see herself and she just babbled so much! Such sweet noises. We love how she says Kendall's name and of course I am just loving how she says "mama." One word she says very clearly is "Mol" for Molly. That was one of her first words. We will treasure these videos forever!

 

 

 

Calli's First Fourth

We had such a fun fourth! This was Calli's first fourth of July as an American citizen, so we had a lot to celebrate. We look forward to the 4th every year because our friends the Gryseels have their annual party at their house. All our friends from church are there and it's just so much fun. We eat, hang out, the kids swim in kiddie pools, and then we have a great view of the fireworks that the city of Lake Jackson puts on. So much fun!

Granny got the girls matching dresses and they looked so cute! It's a little ridiculous how much I love it when they all three match. Jenny asked Randy how many sets of matching clothes we have and Randy said "as much as the grandparents will buy!" :) So cute.

 Gigi and Peeps were here for the weekend, so they got to come to the party with us! We enjoyed having them here and just had a laid-back few days of resting and being at home. It was great!

Our friends Laura and Justin came and had their son Easton with them. Easton's birthday is one day after Calli's, and we have been so excited for them to meet. You can tell they were pretty thrilled about it too.

 Fun times with Sarah and Caleb! Seeing them on the hammock reminded me about another fourth of July many years ago out on the Hancock's ranch when I flipped Alden on a hammock and she broke her arm. I told them that story and said be careful!!

 Cheetos for dinner....ok!

 Our little American!

 Getting wet in the kiddie pools! Calli was super excited about this. She loved it!

 

We didn't know how Calli would react to the fireworks. She was sitting in my lap when they started, and she watched the first two and then quickly turned around to where she was facing me and put her head up against my chest. She left it there the whole time and I covered the ear that was not against me. A few times I tried to sit her up and she would press herself up so hard against me. Sweet girl. When they were over, I said, "All done!" and she sat up, did the sign language for all done and said "Gwo gwo!" (That's Calli for "all done." And "thank you." And "goodbye." And pretty much everything.) She was totally fine when they were finished! It was a late night and we had three tired girls, but it was so much fun!

Watching the fireworks, listening to God Bless the USA, and holding Calli made me a little emotional! What an amazing thing that she is a new American citizen and has the opportunity to live in a country where she has so many freedoms. We don't take for granted where we were born, and know that it's only by God's grace that we have had the wonderful life we have. We're so thankful she is a part of our family forever and know that to whom much has been given, much is required. We want to steward the freedoms we have well and teach our girls to not take them for granted. What a wonderful way to celebrate Calli's 3 month Forever Family day (three days early)! It has been an amazing three months since she was placed in our arms!

Two Months

Yesterday was two months since Calli Faith became ours. April 8 to June 8. Randy and I were talking about it recently, trying to decide if we feel like it’s been two months or not. He said he couldn’t believe it’s been that long; I said I felt like it’s been longer. So much has happened in just the past two months and it’s honestly a little exhausting to think back on it! And even though it has been a lot for us, we still can’t even wrap our minds around how much it has been for Calli. We’re amazed at her courage, the way she has so easily adapted and attached to us, and at how willing and trusting she is to just give her love to us. We’re so thankful.

She is doing really, really well. She eats anything we give her, she is sleeping all night and taking a two hour nap during the day, she loves playing with her sisters, and she has (mostly) done very well at trying new experiences. We get asked a lot about how much she understands – it is so amazing what she seems to understand. Before April 8 she had never heard English, and now she can follow 2 or 3 step commands, she doesn’t seem frustrated like she can’t understand us, and she even nods or shakes her head at the right times every once in awhile! It’s pretty amazing to us how much receptive language she has and we are hopeful that her expressive language will grow so much after her palate surgery in August. Even still, she has so many sounds that she makes, which also makes us hopeful that speech therapy will go well. She is also signing more, all done, thank you, and please.

Our lives have been pretty consumed with doctors’ appointments since arriving home. It has honestly been a little overwhelming for me at times: going to all the appointments (in Houston, mostly), scheduling appointments, speaking with the insurance company, calling for results of blood work, calling to confirm appointments – we knew this would be the case, but it’s just a lot to manage when learning to manage three kids itself is a lot! This week we have three appointments, all in Houston, and I’m so thankful for all the help we’ve had with Kendall and Cooper. We really could not do this without the help of our friends and family and we’re so, so thankful.

Kendall and Cooper are doing so well with Calli. They just love her and immediately saw her as part of our family – and that hasn’t changed as the “newness” has worn off. Kendall has been such a big help and has seemed so mature since we came home. Cooper loves Calli so much, but they are so close in age that she gets a lot of Calli’s reactions to having grown up around lots of other kids, having had to defend herself. She will hit at Coop when Cooper comes to sit with me, or when she wants the toy she has, or whatever. It makes Cooper sad, but she seems to be picking up on me saying that “we just have to teach her what to do and what not to do” and now she will say to me, “Mom, we have to teach her that.” She has also seemed so much bigger since we’ve been home and I can’t believe she’s going to be three in August!

Calli seems to be doing really well with attachment, but this is still something that is hard for us to gauge. She lets me do things for her, wants me to hold her, and will sit in my lap and snuggle with me, just like she does for Randy. Most of the time she stays close to us in public, but several times she has walked away with no concern for whether or not we are following her.  People will say, “Oh, she’s so friendly!” but that’s not necessarily a good thing that she will just go anywhere when we’re out. She will still sometimes reach for other people to pick her up, and times like these show us we still have a ways to go in the area of attachment. We still are asking that when we are out in public that you don’t reach for her or try to pick her up. She gets very easily overwhelmed and overstimulated when we are in crowds. Last week we had a hard week at church. By the time I dropped Kendall and Cooper off in their class, and made my way to the foyer to see Randy, Calli was completely overwhelmed and upset. Her eyes were big and she was clinging to me. Randy is preaching this week, so the girls and I are having to stay home – I need his help during the service to take Calli to the foyer during the message. Also, when he has gone on the stage to make an announcement or do the welcome, she gets upset and wants to go with him. It wouldn’t go well if she was in there when he is preaching! I keep telling myself it’s just a season, but I really miss being at church!

We had our first experience with staying away from home this past weekend. We met Gigi and Peeps and Val and her three at Jellystone Park in Waller to camp. It was so much fun and great to get away, but it was too much too soon for Calli. She didn’t sleep well and we think maybe it was just too soon to be out of the cocoon. The second night went much better than the first, but we’ll definitely be sticking close to home for awhile now! It’s hard to know what she will do well with and what will be too much, so I’m sure we’ll make a few mistakes along the way. We’ll just keep following her lead and making decisions that are best for her.

So I think our biggest adjustment at this point is to having three girls. It’s so much fun and also so crazy! Especially with them this young and this close in age – there is just always someone – usually at least two people - who need me. And Calli is so busy. She has learned to climb the bunk bed ladder, she loves to dump out the contents of drawers, and she never stays focused on anything for too long. Typical stuff for this age, but oh so busy!

Such a full two months! Travel around China, home to Texas, first to Ft. Worth then to Lake Jackson, meeting her big sisters, lots of doctor visits, lip surgery and recovery, first times at church, the library, friends’ houses, dinners out at restaurants, the splash pad, visits from her grandparents, swimming, camping, riding on the golf cart, riding in a car seat, sleeping in her own bed, playing at the park, swinging, swinging and more swinging. We’re so proud of how well she’s doing and can’t imagine our family without her in it. We are so thankful for her and can’t wait to see what the next two months hold!