Goodbye Fuzhou...Hello Guangzhou!

We have had another full two days so I have lots of pictures to add! Yesterday was a super long day of traveling, so we crashed when we finally made it to our hotel last night around midnight. This morning started early, so this is the first chance I've had to sit down and blog.

We are so thankful to be in Guangzhou at the Garden hotel now! Yesterday was our last day in Fuzhou, and the day when we were given Xiao Fei's Chinese passport. That is the reason we had to be in her province five days - that's how long it takes to be issued the passport. So, adoption on Monday, passport on Friday.

We tried on a shirt I bought for Calli before we left. We thought she was going to be in 24 month or 2t clothes, but everything has been too big! I brought a few 18 month things so we've been recycling those a lot. This outfit is 2t and we tried it on and it wasn't too big! I love the shirt - it says "Smile" but when I tried to take her picture, she gave me a big scowl! Ha!

Last breakfast at the Lakeside hotel. We loved our window seat each morning looking out to the lake! And Calli has loved their waffles.

 

 We had the rest of the morning to ourselves to get packed and ready to leave. We were able to Skype with the girls who we are missing so so much!
We got everything back in our three suitcases and then checked out. Penny met us and the two other families with us in a meeting room with a police officer who was there to give us our passports.

 She also gave us our certificate of adoption! This is a nice red book with our official paperwork and picture of the three of us in it. So cool!

We loved our guide Penny! She was such a big help and became a great friend this week. We're going to miss her when we're in Guangzhou! She loved Xiao Fei and even bought a Chinese doll to give to her.  

We made the hour long drive to the airport, and then had to wait there for several hours. Our flight was delayed. It is not easy to keep a toddler entertained in the airport - especially one that is still trying to decide if she even likes you. :) By the time we got on the plane it was almost 9:00. Randy put her in the carrier and she fell asleep. She slept for the first thirty minutes and then ate the last half of the flight. She was so good! We were very thankful. We were in two of three seats and there was a very nice man sitting on Randy's other side. He told him at the end of the flight, "You are a good father." I agree, sir. :)

 

And then....when we got to our hotel in GZ, this girl was a new baby! She was laughing so much, babbling more than we've ever heard, smiling, and even happier with me than she's ever been. It really was like someone had flipped a switch. We have heard that sometimes they loosen up a lot when you move from the first hotel - maybe they associate it with a traumatic time and realize that you aren't going to leave them. We loved seeing more of her personality - even though it meant she wasn't ready to go to bed at midnight when we were! I have video of her playing in bed - I'll try to post it if the internet here will let me.

 

Our hotel is very very nice. It is actually a suite, so there is a sitting room and office, and then a separate bedroom. So nice! We're so thankful this is where our agency puts their families - it will be a very comfortable five days here.

 There is a shade that electronically rolls up and down on this big window into the bathroom! And there is a crib in this room again for Calli - not that she'll use it. ;)

The sitting room.

 

 

 The foyer. Crazy!

 

So after too short of a night's sleep, we woke up to eat breakfast and get ready for the consulate medical appointment. This is required by the US embassy before they will give Calli her visa on Tuesday. GZ is where the US embassy is, so it is where any American family adopting from China ends their adoption. So walking into the breakfast buffet this morning was like walking into an adoption oasis - there were tons of American families with Chinese babies! We actually felt normal and loved seeing all these newly created families. Very, very cool.

We have three other families with us specifically in our adoption group. We are already loving them all so much and have a very cool story to share that I will blog about later. The way God connects things is just amazing!

All the American families adopting this week in China were at this medical clinic for their exams. It was a very full room of parents and babies!

The children had to go to three different rooms to be checked - we waited a long time but once we were taken back for the actual three exams, it didn't take long. She didn't love any of them but they were fast.

 

 And look what was in the lobby! I think wine in doctor's offices in the states could really catch on.

 After a short trip to the store for some groceries, all four of our families went to lunch together....at a MEXICAN RESTAURANT! I'm not sure if you can tell how excited we were - it was so good and we just wanted to order one of everything. Randy said we will be eating here several more times. And all God's people said AMEN.

 

Our hearts are full and our bodies are tired. We're heading out to find dinner and explore more of the hotel. Tomorrow we go shopping!

 

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

We have been so fortunate to have friends that have adopted that have shared the good the bad and the ugly with us.  The reality is that it's not all fun and fairy tales. Without authentic and sincere friends we might have nievely thought otherwise.

The attachment issues are tough. I know this has been hard on Ashley. Calli is warming up but it is slow - and it resets everyday. It's hard when she lets me tickle her, kiss her, and cuddle but she turns away from Ash.  Ashley feeds her and holds her; it's not as if there is no interaction.  But is is certainly different.  And it is different than what we prepared our hearts for. I expected to be in Ashley's shoes.

It can be tough in my shoes too.  24/7 she wants me, wants to be with me. Shower. Bathroom. Sleep. Restaurant.  She is napping on me as I type this.  It is a lot!  I get all the smiles and laughs, but I get all the tears and tantrums too.

We are honest enough with each other that we have admitted that at times we have been both jealous of each other's shoes and also thankful at times for the shoes we're wearing.  It is certainly an emotional roller coaster.  We are just trying to be as brave and patient as Calli is!

The schedule is no fairy tale. Being in China is an adventure - in a good way, but trying to adjust while being in an unfamiliar place and moving around is stressful.

The emotions are no fairy tale.
The what happens when we get home and in the real world questions are no fairy tale.
The special needs are not a fairy tale.

"I just feel like I'm on overload!" - Ashley

The good outweighs the bad and the ugly by far. The good will continue to grow and grow. There will be more bad and there will be more ugly - that's parenting!  The good is what you remember. It's what you cherish.  We cherish our sweetsie Calli Fei Fei (that's what Cooper calls her).

Admitting in the middle of all the fun and fairy tale that there's struggle and stress seems like the right thing to do.  For me it is a good reminder that I am not the hero in this story. And neither is Ashley.  My hero adopted me. He knows my tears and my pain, he can handle my stress and my weakness, and he knows my flaws. Yet, he loves me. He chose me. He sacrificed for me. He sustains me. He adopted me - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

If he is calling you to this wonderful adventure I want to be a good enough friend to tell you he will be the hero in your story too - and that's good because you'll need him.

Thursday in Fuzhou



 Thursday was very relaxed.  We only had one thing on the official agenda.  Going to a street in the city called Three Lands and Seven Valleys.  It is one of the top ten streets in China.  Our guide was very excited about taking us there.  We had no idea what it was, just that it was exciting!  It was shopping.  Lots of shopping.  Awesome.  Ashley and I are not big shoppers, but it was a neat street.  It was a good chance to look at traditional Chinese architecture and to be looked at by Chinese people :)  No shame in stopping in staring; a lot and for long amounts of time!

The other baby in the picture is Noelle.  Her family is from California.  She wears her hair bows like a good girl.  She and Calli were connecting for the first time even though we have been together for days.  They were reaching out and holding hands.  This was my first time to wear the baby carrier - actually pretty cool, and A&M colors.  The man wearing the baby definitely got some stares.

 

 

 A Starbucks!  This was waiting for us at the end of 3 Lands and 7 Valleys.  A Caffe Mocha and a Shaken Iced Green Tea Lemonade was all the we purchased on the street of shopping.  I think this is the only Starbucks in Fuzhou - a city of 7 million.

 They even had Fuzhou mugs

 

Momma, Calli, and the Bougainvillea

 This is what you do on a relaxed day!

 

 

After nap we went on a boat ride.  This lake is right in front of our hotel.  It has a great 3 mile walking trail, lots of little islands with sightseeing kinds of things, and the opportunity to take a little boat out for just a little fee.  Our captain is Ethan, the big brother of Joshua - another little guy being adopted from this province.  Joshua's family is from Illinois. 

 Our hotel, The Lakeside

 Dinner at a Japanese restaurant in our hotel.  This was our first time to try this place.  It was pretty good and interesting for sure.  It is on the "M" floor of our hotel.  We decided "M" stands for mystery!  The appetizer was kidney beans or unknown orange spicy things.  Calli LOVED the kidney beans.  She will eat anything.

A couple videos from our boat ride and walk around the island (notice the music in the video of the ladies dancing - I guess we did a little stopping and long staring of our own :) 

 

Xiamen City

Today was a very long, very exhausting day, and at first we wondered if it would be worth it. We made the three-plus hour drive from Fuzhou City to Xiamen City, where Calli was found and where her orphanage is. She lived there for the first 10 months of her life, and then she has lived in foster care (under the direction of the orphanage) since then. This past week she was moved back to the orphanage to prepare for her adoption day.

Our purpose in making this trip was to gather all the memories we could for Calli. She is so young and will remember so little, so we wanted to see for ourselves where she came from and what her life was like.

We rode in a van with a driver and the director of all Fujian province adoptions, Mr. Jack. We were able to learn a lot about the cities between Fuzhou and Xiamen City, and we enjoyed seeing the cities and the countrysides between here and there. Calli fell asleep in my lap for about half an hour on the way there. I loved that! She is showing signs of trusting me more and more and I'm so proud of her.

 Calli was found on the fourth floor of the Xiamen City Hospital. Mr. Jack said he would take us there but that only one of us could go in. Randy stayed in the van with Calli and I went up with Mr. Jack. She took a nap in his lap for awhile, too.

Here is the sign for the fourth floor - that is the pediatric unit of the hospital. We are so thankful for her biological parents - they left her in a very loving and brave place, even risking being found so that she would be found and receive care quickly. It is illegal to abandon your children in China, so Mr. Jack guesses that Calli's biological parents were possibly workers in the hospital, and that is why they might have had access to this location. Calli was very frail when she was found, possibly because of feeding issues, so she was able to be taken care of at the hospital quickly.  

The entrance to the fourth floor, right where she was found.

 She was found right here in front of the elevators. Precious girl. I stood in awe of the fact that she was found here, wrapped in a red blanket 17 months ago and now she was laying in her Daddy's arms wrapped in her new family quilt downstairs in the van. Praise God for his sovereignty and care in watching over our sweet girl!

In front of the hospital - no longer an orphan. We're so thankful she's part of our family forever!

 Then we continued our journey to Xiamen City orphanage, stopping in front of these rocks that are a symbol of Xiamen City. I need to ask Randy if he got the whole story - I was a little nauseated from the car ride at this point. Also Frosty the Snowman was playing over loudspeakers in this park area. Who knows.

 Then we were finally headed to the orphanage, stopping to buy some diapers to take with us on the way. By this time we had been driving for 5 hours and we were more than ready for some time outside of the van.
Here is the outside of the Xiamen City Social Welfare Institute. They are called this in China because they are not only for orphans but also for elderly people. We only went to two floors, so we didn't see much of it, but it is newer and very nice.

 

 

The first thing we did was sit in a meeting room with Mr. Jack, the orphanage director and the other worker who brought Calli to us and were there the next day to sign papers. They don't speak any English, so Mr. Jack translated and we told them again how thankful we were for them. They asked if we wanted to see her file and we said yes! Most of the information was paperwork we already had, but there were two new things - her footprint from when she was found and brought in and her finding ad! We were so so excited to see these. In China, when a baby is found, the local police place an ad in the paper for a certain amount of days to see if any family comes forward. We had been wanting to see Calli's because we knew that would be the earliest picture we could have of her. What a blessing to get that today! I took a picture of it but then they actually made me a copy of each. We can't wait to get this translated. Her chubby little cheeks don't look too frail to me! :)

 One of the best parts of the whole day was when the director and her assistant walked in. We could tell when they gave Calli to us that she loved them very much, and they her, because she reached for them the whole time they were in the room. Then, when we saw them the next day, she reached for them again and wanted to go to them. BUT....when they walked in the room today, Randy was holding her, and she didn't even smile at them or motion for them. She squeezed Randy tightly and turned her face away from them and toward Randy. SO COOL! What a difference three days makes - they kept trying to get her attention and talk to her and she wouldn't even look at them. We are so thankful she already knows who her "baba" is and that she didn't want to leave him to go back with the ladies. I looked at Randy and said, "Totally worth it, just for that." He agreed.

 Next was something else incredible. The director had been telling us that Xiao Fei was very popular and had a good personality. She said, "You'll see for yourselves when we go up to the fifth floor, where she lived at first." We got up there and met the nannies who cared for her - and they were all so excited!! "Xiao fei! Xiao fei!" They would smile and talk to her and then go find more nannies who would also come in, excited to see her. Such a rock star!! Several tried to hold her but she wouldn't let them. They also wanted her to get down and come play on the play mat where some toys and some of the other babies were, but she wanted to stay close to Randy and me. We got a picture with some of them.

 This lady in the last picture is in charge of all the babies in this special care unit that Xiao Fei was in. She was so happy to see her and even asked if she could take a picture with us with her camera. As several more nannies started coming in the room, all of the sudden we saw an American! A young woman, probably our age, came in speaking Mandarin with some of the nannies. She also remembered Xiao Fei and was excited to see her. We started talking and she told us she is from Arkansas and that she has lived and worked here for seven years now! She teaches in one of the older children's rooms. She told us thank you so much for coming back with Xiao fei and said that they had been praying for our family. We were so shocked! We asked her if she was a believer and she said yes, and that many of the nannies were as well! We told her that we were believers too and they were all so thankful to hear that about us! We didn't realize this, but learned today that there is an NGO that operates in conjunction with the staff at the orphanage. I believe some of the workers at the orphanage work for the NGO and some work for the government. She told us that the director and her assistant and some of the other workers are not necessarily believers but that some of the nannies are. AMAZING! All these months that we had been praying for Xiao Fei to be well-loved and taken care of and come to find out, she has been prayed over, prayed for, and God is doing an amazing work in her orphanage through these people. PRAISE GOD! We met another man who works for the NGO and he also was so thankful and said he was so encouraged to get to meet us. After only spending a week here, I can imagine how hard it must be to live in such a different type of country, in such darkness. But God's hope is here, in Calli's former orphanage, and we are just so thankful for these people who are living out his love here. 

We had a great long conversation with the people from the states, and then they asked if we wouldn't mind staying in touch and sending updates on Calli as she grows and has her surgeries. We of course were so thankful to be able to do so, and we can't wait to continue our new relationship with these people.

Then we headed back down to the van and drove back to Fuzhou. Calli did great leaving - she even seemed to be a little sillier in the car, maybe a little lighter and more relaxed. We're so thankful that even though we know she was so well-loved and cared for there, that she at some level realizes we are her family and she chose to show she wanted us.

Our drive back was long and Calli cried for about thirty minutes before she finally fell asleep. She fights sleep so hard, and she also cries a lot when she wakes up. We have been told that sleeping time is the hardest for newly adopted children - they dream about their life up until now and then wake up disoriented, confused, and upset. This has definitely been the case for Calli, and today was really hard before nap.

Also, our driver thought it would help to play music, so he put in a Brittany Spears cd. Then it looped over and over and over again. Probably a dozen times the whole way home. That did not help at all. When we finally got back to our hotel, Randy said he thought if he could make it through that trip today he could make it on Survivor. He said that cd almost caused him to have a mental breakdown. :) He's been on Calli duty almost the whole time we've had her because she has only wanted him. When we got back to our room he said he was on break, so she and I played and we had a good evening! She is not fussing at me as much and I even was able to be the one to walk her up and down the hall in her stroller to try and get her to sleep. It didn't work, but it was progress! I'm so thankful for Randy and fall in love with him more every day - especially through all of this. He is awesome at being a dad and the way he already loves Calli is so amazing.

They are both asleep now and it's almost 11 pm here, so I'm going to join them. I just had so much in my mind and heart about our trip today and I don't want to forget any of it. Thanks for all your prayers for today. God is doing more than we could ask or imagine!

 

Pandas and Tea

We have had a great Tuesday in Fuzhou so far! Right now Randy and Calli are both napping. Calli is going on two hours of sound sleeping in her stroller! That is the longest she has slept yet without waking up and fussing a little. We'll be trying sleeping in the stroller again tonight!

I tried to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep. Jet lag I guess, or time change. We may go take a walk around the lake in front of our hotel later - it's a nice day here. We ordered a Papa Johns pizza for lunch and it was the best thing I've had since Lisa brought Olive Garden home for dinner the night before we left! We'll be ordering that again!

Randy posted earlier (if you haven't read his post yet, scroll down below this one and read it first). He wrote about how Calli is doing and about how today has been better for her and I. Here is a picture of us sitting together eating breakfast this morning! She sat with me the whole time and let me feed her. Progress!

Note about breakfast:

- See that little cup of coffee? I have about three of those every morning. Randy teases me, but I remind him that each cup is like three drinks! So tiny, but oh so good with warm milk and lots of sugar. :)

- I also have two bowls of that raisen bran cereal every morning. Thankful for normal to me foods!

- Calli drinks so well and eats so well. We haven't found anything yet that she won't or can't eat! She's awesome!

After breakfast we met the two other families who are here and our guide to go to Panda World. It's a panda rehabilitation place. Kendall and Cooper would have loved it! We saw Giant Pandas as well as what the Chinese call "lesser pandas." We call them Red Pandas and we have seen one at the Houston Zoo. This first giant panda is very popular there and is the oldest panda - 36 years old. Our guide said they typically live to be about 22.

We learned they eat about 50 kilos of bamboo a day - I think that's like 100 lbs!

Loving that she let me carry her!

 Randy bought the girls a panda puppet in the gift store to add to their puppet theater collection. He handed it to Calli and she immediately put her hand around it and brought it to her face! We haven't seen her do that with any stuffed animal or blanket yet - super sweet!

 We were there at the same time as some school children. They were so cute with their big coats and backpacks! This was where we watched the show that the lesser pandas put on. They did tricks. It was pretty cool!

After Panda World, we went to an old traditional Chinese house and tea ceremony. This is what houses traditionally look like in China, but real estate has become more expensive with all the growing population, so most families live in apartments now. We enjoyed getting to see what a traditional house looked like and hearing all the meaning behind everything.

The tea ceremony was one of my favorite touristy things we've done so far. Chinese people typically have tea after every meal and will have a tea ceremony once a day. There is meaning behind each part of the ceremony and the way the lady poured and washed and made everything was very beautiful. We tried three different kinds of teas, even learning how to hold the cup and how to drink it. One of the teas was a jasmine tea, which Fuzhou is known for. This was very fun! 

 

Tomorrow we will visit Calli's hometown and orphanage. The drive there will take three hours, we will spend some time there and then make the three hour drive back. We are very thankful to have the opportunity to do this, even though it will make for a long day and might be tiring. Please pray that the trip will go well, and that we will be able to gather a lot of memories for Calli of the place where she was born. We want to have as much information as we can to give her as she grows. Thanks for your prayers for our family!

China Doll

This little Calli Fei Fei really has our hearts.  She is so sweet and a little sassy.  She will fit right in!  The rest of them (Ashley included) are so sassy and a little sweet.  It is such an incredible experience watching her learn to trust us.  She is very cautious and quiet.  She almost always looks serious.  Even when she is playing in the hotel room you can see that she is being reserved.  But, little by little she is coming out of her shell.  We are already seeing lots of personality.  (We might want to take some of that "shell" home with us!) There are moments when you know she let's down her guard.  It is usually a laugh, a smile, or making some noise.  Every once in a while she is even silly - like sticking her tongue out.  Which is good, because silly is an essential in our family.  She has been so brave!

Today has been a really good day for Calli and Ashley in terms of bonding.  It started at breakfast.  I went and made my plate at the (really good, light in our mostly food darkness) breakfast buffet - and Calli didn't even whimper.  Ashley fed her all of her breakfast, and I enjoyed a break.  I even left long enough to take some confiscated yogurt up to our room, and when I came back she was totally fine.  It just kept getting better throughout the day.  Ashley has held her almost all day.  The only exceptions were when I took her outside because the traditional Chinese tea demonstration got a little long and boring for her and I got her to sleep for nap by rolling up and down the hallway in her stroller.  That was the easiest bed time yet!

I know this journey is only getting started, but for now we can tell you that as awkward and unnatural as the process is - loving her unconditionally as our daughter is easy and as natural as anything!  She has our hearts!

Some thoughts:
- Papa John's pizza never tasted so good! (brought to our room for lunch - best $25 pizza ever!)
- Calli shot rice out of her nose last night after dinner
- All Walmarts should have escalators that you can take your buggy on - makes Walmart more fun!
- Panda World Rehabilitation Center was very cool, but I do believe Chinese discriminate towards all other bears (we saw many "lesser" bears that were not treated the same - true story)
- The prayers, thoughts, and love from you have been overwhelming